Fail Forward

Hello.

I am sad and frustrated to go on without you. I tried to rid my mind off of these thoughts, but too much empathy is my blessing and curse. I have nothing to offer, really, except these words that come from my heart. I can give you a hug or some food, or distance, if that is what you require. In exchange, let me take minutes from your precious time as you read this.

Failing is supposed to suck and hurt big time. No surprise there, I know. There isn't really an easy way to fail, my dear (may I call you that way, for now, at least?) However, let us make one thing clear; you may have failed now but you are not a failure. You never will be a failure. There is a purpose for your existence here on earth, one that you have to unravel for yourself. I wish I can tell you that I know the reason for this trial but I don't. What I do know is that this is not yet the end of your journey. Where you decide to go from here, what you decide to do with this failure just might be the turning point of your life. 

I hope you are trying to cope effectively. Keyword "trying." It's not like there's a sure-fire way to cope. Just remember that your defense mechanisms can only get you so far and they will only consume you from the inside out. Talk, cry, shout, exercise, make art, pray, and etc. Sometimes, people can say the darnedest things in their attempt to comfort you so instead, find comfort in God. He always knows what to do with you. He may be silent at this point because He knows that it is exactly what you need. Just continue to seek Him. Give yourself ample time for grieving. It is O.K. to be sad. Be the master of this emotion rather than becoming a slave to it. It will get better, you will be better, I promise. 

Seek in your heart of hearts the things that you really want. When you find them, fight with all your might. If you must stumble and fall, stand up again; this time, with your head a little higher and your back a bit straighter to show with pride your battle scars. Let your life be a testament of resilience. Fight the good fight of faith, warrior.

(c) James Lewis