Beauty that Moves You: On Joining a Beauty Pageant

Hello! It's been a while. 

Let me tell you a secret: 2014 is a "yes year" for me. It is exactly what it means - I'm saying yes to every opportunity that comes my way, given that it is within the bounds of my own sanity, values, and beliefs. So, ahem, love life. Haha! I kid. 

Anyway, before I stray to another topic altogether. So, "yes year", right. To my surprise, a never-in-my-wildest-dreams invitation to join a beauty pageant came knocking at my door. Well, to be exact, the knock came in the form of Facebook messages from my ever so persistent Aunt Kathy. I had apprehensions that held me back. There was my headstrong self saying that it was only a way to objectify myself. The world might view me as someone who won an award merely for my face and body, disregarding the other things that formed the core of my being: character, vision, and insight. There was also my insecure self who said I was not beautiful enough, that I was too flat-chested to pass the standards of the world. I thought of many different reasons to say no, but when I thought about it, the reasons to say yes overwhelmed me:

"I joined this pageant because this puts me in the position of influence to show that beauty is more than the physical attributes evidenced by a pretty face enhanced by makeup and a sexy body dictated by the perfect vital statistics. Beauty is all about the heart, spirit, ambition, and desire to leave an impact to the world."

Those words were the ones I said to the organizers when I was asked about my motive for joining the beauty pageant. The strength of beauty lies in its ability to influence and move people who witness it unfold. However, there is something more that must be added to our definition of a beautiful woman. I know to myself that my physical beauty may not be the most outstanding, but there is more that I can offer beyond these things that fade. By joining the pageant, I had the opportunity to make people think about what makes a woman really stand out; I will expound on this later. 

I also wanted to stand before our small, quiet town as a strong, empowered, and educated woman. I wanted little girls who would come to watch the pageant to find an inspiration that they can be something more, that they must not limit themselves within the perimeters of our little town, and that there is so much more that they can achieve in life. I wanted to become their role model. They can be headstrong and independent too, if they desired for that. 

Finally, I joined the pageant to bury my insecurities. I used to think that my flat chest and flat nose made me ugly. A beauty pageant was never in my wildest dreams because I thought nobody would ever think of me as pretty. My younger, insecure, and naive self was the final convincing factor that made me accept this challenge. Yes, joining a beauty pageant was unnecessary for the burial of my insecurities, but it was my own ceremony for closure of an episode of my life filled with comparison against the standards of the world. 

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Now that you know my reasons, I will be writing about the months (!) of preparation for the pageant proper in the next blog post. Stay tuned!

Until the next adventure,

Dena